Showing posts with label step up. Show all posts
Showing posts with label step up. Show all posts

Thursday 6 February 2020

11 Warning Signs of Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a manipulation tactic used to gain power. 

And it works too well.


Gaslighting is a tactic in which a person or entity, in order to gain more power, makes a victim question their reality. It works much better than you may think. Anyone is susceptible to gaslighting, and it is a common technique of abusers, dictators, narcissists, and cult leaders. It is done slowly, so the victim doesn't realize how much they've been brainwashed. For example, in the movie Gaslight (1944), a man manipulates his wife to the point where she thinks she is losing her mind. 


1. They tell blatant lies.
You know it's an outright lie. Yet they are telling you this lie with a straight face. Why are they so blatant? Because they're setting up a precedent. Once they tell you a huge lie, you're not sure if anything they say is true. Keeping you unsteady and off-kilter is the goal. 
2. They deny they ever said something, even though you have proof. 
You know they said they would do something; you know you heard it. But they out and out deny it. It makes you start questioning your reality—maybe they never said that thing. And the more they do this, the more you question your reality and start accepting theirs. 
3. They use what is near and dear to you as ammunition. 
They know how important your kids are to you, and they know how important your identity is to you. So those may be one of the first things they attack. If you have kids, they tell you that you should not have had those children. They will tell you'd be a worthy person if only you didn't have a long list of negative traits. They attack the foundation of your being. 
4. They wear you down over time.
This is one of the insidious things about gaslighting—it is done gradually, over time. A lie here, a lie there, a snide comment every so often...and then it starts ramping up. Even the brightest, most self-aware people can be sucked into gaslighting—it is that effective. It's the "frog in the frying pan" analogy: The heat is turned up slowly, so the frog never realizes what's happening to it. 
5. Their actions do not match their words.
When dealing with a person or entity that gaslights, look at what they are doing rather than what they are sayingWhat they are saying means nothing; it is just talk. What they are doing is the issue. 
6. They throw in positive reinforcement to confuse you. 
This person or entity that is cutting you down, telling you that you don't have value, is now praising you for something you did. This adds an additional sense of uneasiness. You think, "Well maybe they aren't so bad." Yes, they are. This is a calculated attempt to keep you off-kilter—and again, to question your reality. Also, look at what you were praised for; it is probably something that served the gaslighter. 
7. They know confusion weakens people. 
Gaslighters know that people like having a sense of stability and normalcy. Their goal is to uproot this and make you constantly question everything. And humans' natural tendency is to look to the person or entity that will help you feel more stable—and that happens to be the gaslighter.  
8. They project.
They are a drug user or a cheater, yet they are constantly accusing you of that. This is done so often that you start trying to defend yourself, and are distracted from the gaslighter's own behaviour. 
9. They try to align people against you.
Gaslighters are masters at manipulating and finding the people they know will stand by them no matter what—and they use these people against you. They will make comments such as, "This person knows that you're not right," or "This person knows you're useless too." Keep in mind it does not mean that these people actually said these things. A gaslighter is a constant liar. When the gaslighter uses this tactic it makes you feel like you don't know who to trust or turn to—and that leads you right back to the gaslighter. And that's exactly what they want: Isolation gives them more control.
10. They tell you or others that you are crazy.
This is one of the most effective tools of the gaslighter because it's dismissive. The gaslighter knows if they question your sanity, people will not believe you when you tell them the gaslighter is abusive or out-of-control. It's a master technique.  
11. They tell you everyone else is a liar.
By telling you that everyone else (your family, the media) is a liar, it again makes you question your reality. You've never known someone with the audacity to do this, so they must be telling the truth, right? No. It's a manipulation technique. It makes people turn to the gaslighter for the "correct" information—which isn't correct information at all.
If you need support UNISON are here 24/7 to help.

https://www.unison.org.uk/get-help/services-support/there-for-you/

Tuesday 30 July 2019

local service champions

A huge network of people work together to keep our local communities going. Yet very few of us probably recognise the vital local services that we come into contact with everyday. It’s time to give our local service champions the recognition they deserve.









Friday 21 June 2019

Saturday 8 June 2019

What are mental health problems?

In many ways, mental health is just like physical health: everybody has it and we need to take care of it.

Good mental health means being generally able to think, feel and react in the ways that you need and want to live your life. But if you go through a period of poor mental health you might find the ways you're frequently thinking, feeling or reacting become difficult, or even impossible, to cope with. This can feel just as bad as a physical illness, or even worse.

Mental health problems affect around one in four people in any given year. They range from common problems, such as depression and anxiety, to rarer problems such as schizophrenia and bipolar disorder.

I now know that if I felt there was something wrong, it's because there was, but I didn't understand mental health fully... it's a spectrum and you should feel able to decide where and when you [are] on that spectrum.






Am I the only one who feels this way?
Experiencing a mental health problem is often upsetting, confusing and frightening – particularly at first. If you become unwell, you may feel that it's a sign of weakness, or that you are 'losing your mind'.

These fears are often reinforced by the negative (and often unrealistic) way that people experiencing mental health problems are shown on TV, in films and by the media. This may stop you from talking about your problems, or seeking help. This, in turn, is likely to increase your distress and sense of isolation.

However, in reality, mental health problems are a common human experience.

Most people know someone who has experienced a mental health problem. They can happen to all kinds of people from all walks of life. And it's likely that, when you find a combination of self-care, treatment and support that works for you, you will get better.

It wasn't until I had a breakdown that I felt my condition was 'serious enough' to qualify as an issue. I could have got help much earlier but I didn't because of this – it's never too early to seek advice.

More info and help can be found at https://www.mind.org.uk/




Friday 7 June 2019

We won't be silenced over threats to Oxon's cancer care

 PUBLIC MEETING: 

7.00pm Thursday June 20th, Oxford Town Hall

Lawyers for NHS England have issued a warning that publicly raising concerns about the impact on patients of their proposal to contract out Oxford's PET-CT scanning service could result in a defamation claim.

We say we have the right and the duty to speak out and to report well-founded concerns.

The Oxford NUJ has invited three speakers from the worlds of cancer care, defamation law and journalism to address the urgent issues raised by NHS England's warning.

How can we work together to prevent threats and intimidation from closing down informed debate about the future of vital public services? Is a change in the law required?

Speakers:
Tamsin Allen @tamsinallen1, a Partner at Bindmans solicitors who specialises in defamation and representing whistleblowers. She has recently acted for Christopher Wylie, the Cambridge Analytica whistleblower.

Professor Adrian Harris, A consultant medical oncologist at Oxford University Hospitals NHS Trust who continues to raise concerns over the impact that contracting out the PET-CT services will have on the quality and safety of patient care

Seamus Dooley @Seamusdo, the Deputy General Secretary of the National Union of Journalists , who has spent his career as a journalist and NUJ official defending the independence of the press and public service journalism

Join the discussion; Register to attend at Eventbrite






Wednesday 5 June 2019

Positive mental health at work

Acas Senior Adviser Abigail Hirshman talks about the Acas strategy for positive mental health at work. The Government's Department of Health advises that one in four of us will experience mental ill health at some point in our lives. It is therefore important that employers and their staff take steps to promote positive mental health and support those experiencing mental ill health For more information on Mental health in the workplace and to book a place on our training program. http://www.acas.org.uk/mentalhealth




Monday 14 January 2019

UNISON in numbers


  • UNISON has more than 1.3 million members and activists, making us one of Europe’s largest unions
  • More than 70% of our members are women.
  • UNISON is spread over 12 UK regions.
  • There are more than 1,000 UNISON branches around the UK

Friday 14 December 2018

We are so proud of all our members.



We're proud to represent people employed in all areas of local government – from libraries to parks, from schools to housing, from youth workers to care workers and everyone in between! They work for our communities in difficult circumstances

Merry Christmas from Oxford City Branch of UNISON






Friday 11 May 2018

It's almost time for us to Step Up! For Public Services.

Here's all the logistical info you need for the day.

Arriving and forming up
The UNISON block of the march will form up on The Embankment by Embankment Pier. We have been allocated Zone 2 which will be marked out by the TUC with signs on lamp posts, From 9.30am the area will be clearly visible due to the presence of six of large purple UNISON balloons.

The best way to get on to The Embankment by foot is from The Strand via the side streets Surrey Street and Arundel Street

Marchers should access the form up area from the rear and make their way forwards towards Zone 2 and the purple UNISON balloons.

The key tube stations are Blackfriars, Southwark, St Paul’s and Waterloo. Temple tube station is likely to be closed as it is very small, so make alternative plans.

March Length and Route
View the march route here. March lengths are as follows:
  • Long March – Embankment tube to Wellington Arch entrance of Hyde Park - 1.7 miles
  • Short March – St James Street to Wellington Arch entrance of Hyde Park – 0.8 miles

Legal Assistance
In the event of any legal issues, UNISON has arranged a helpline through Thompsons for members on the day: Tel: 0800 587 7530

Rally
The rally in Hyde Park is due to end no later than 4.00pm.



Saturday 28 April 2018

Step up on 12 May in London



To book a seat on the Oxford City branch of UNISON's coach email 12maycaoch@gmail.com





Free travel paid for by Oxford City Branch of UNISON







2024 Annual General Meeting

  2024 Annual General Meeting   Thursday 28 March 2024 15:00 till 16:00 St Aldates Tavern, St Aldates or online via Teams   One of the most ...